The “Asian Oprah,” Dr. Marissa Pei has found success around the globe with a very simple mission. She teaches people how to be happy, yet she realizes that, during a pandemic, cracking a smile is not always easy to do.
Despite the sadness that abounds, the local happiness expert says, “you can choose the silver lining.” Pei holds a PhD in organizational psychology. Her most recent book, “Eight ways to happiness,” is a ranked bestseller on Amazon.
Like most, Dr. Pei is captive to her own home, but says she is “making the most of it.” With all of her scheduled appearances cancelled or postponed, she shared a few thoughts for readers trying to come to terms with another week of confinement.
“Don’t get me wrong,” said Pei, “this is deadly serious. I understand that.” But she said we do much better if we learn to overcome the potential paranoia caused by our internal panic. “We should not pretend there is nothing wrong,” said Pei, “but we do have a choice to determine how we feel about it.”
Since launching her book, Dr. Pei has until now been on the speaking circuit, advising groups and some companies about how to achieve happiness. While happiness means different things to different people, Dr. Pei claims you are generally happy if you “feel good inside.”
Like other psychology professionals, Pei is concerned about the mental health of everyday Americans as the confinement and social isolation drags on.
“In today’s environment,” she said, “citizens are deluged with a flood of bad news, then ordered to stay home,” so naturally, said Pei, the first instinct is denial, then anger, then regression.
“I’m afraid this is also a pandemic of fear,” she said, noting the understandable fear now being felt by many in our communities. “We have been regressed into a complete state of restriction,” said Pei, “I understand that.”
“They are told to stay home, stay apart,” she said. Now working virtually, Dr. Pei is trying to lead people affeted by the pandemic from darkness to light.
Pei said she would have preferred authorities term the need for space as “spatial distancing” rather than “social distancing.” Pei claims that the term “social distancing” tends to take the “kind out of humankind.”
Nevertheless, she said people would do better not to hide their anger and fear, saying it is important to get it out. Scream, throw a pillow, run in place or do something to “get it out,” she said. “If we don’t,” she said, “whatever it is will regress and could push us over the line to paranoia.”
“All of us have been regressed into a complete state of intellectual, spiritual and emotional restriction,” said Pei.
“The first thing we should do in the morning is take a bite from our ‘gratitude sandwich,’” says Pei. According to Pei, a good first step is taking a look around and remembering everything for which we are grateful to have. “It’s much better to move forward with grateful thoughts than to focus on the bad news all day.”
“Our lives are a gift, she said, and “people should write down eight things for which they are grateful. Train yourselves into seeing what’s good,” she said. “My soft bed, my comfy bed clothes, the great taste of coffee, the bird serenade or whatever. It’s a choice and each day will be much better if we “choose” to focus on the good.
“Shift your perspective,” she suggested, “and don’t wallow or marinate in fear but see the good in every day.”
“Just stop the worry,” advises Pei, “and stay away from the easy rabbit hole of fear.”
And while the pandemic can be disruptive and tragic, Pei sees a bright side there as well. “There is an enormous amount of good that will come from this,” she said, including many social norms that she believes could change our lives for the better.
Like a raging forest fire, she said, the pandemic is sweeping across the American landscape. Yet, said Pei, major events like this, including wildfires, leave behind “little seedlings of change” that always sprout, bringing hope and opportunity to citizens.
While confined at home, Pei is holding regular “Peace at Home” sessions, which can be found on eventbrite.com.
“These are proven methods to relieve stress and anxiety without drinking or having to use other escape mechanisms,” she said. “Just choose to do something meaningful every day,” said Pei, and “forgive people, be gracious and you can be concerned, but always take a balanced look.”
Here’s a link to Dr. Pei’s “Peace at Home” sessions.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/peace-at-home-peace-within-moving-from-restrictions-to-expansion-tickets-101857149476?aff=erelexpmlt
