Already, I’m seeing pumpkins and ghouls in local stores, so I figured: is it too early to write a Halloween story? Nah.
Last year, the hubby and I forgot all about he holiday and, come dusk, with children children converging and expecting goodies, we shut off the lights, lit a couple of candles, hunkered down in our bunker — I mean home — and prayed that we wouldn’t hear that terrifying “Knock, knock, knock.”
No such luck.
We didn’t have the guts to open the door and break the bad news, so the hubby yelled: “Sorry! Out of candy!” Mind you, it was about 7 p.m. and one of the kids, who might or might not have been dressed up as a CEO, called it like it was: “Poor preparation!”
He was right and I told myself, never again, so this year, we’re ready. In fact, we’re more than ready after researching popular, and not so popular, goodies. We’re determined that the little monsters walk away from our porch smiling, not scornful, so I’m offering some do’s and don’ts for the big day.
Don’t
1) Do not fail to buy candy and then try to hide. They know. Oh, how they know. Also, stay away from Dum Dums, saltwater taffy, licorice and wax candy.
2) Do not be the neighborhood do-gooder and hand out toothpaste, or worse, floss. Unless, of course, you want to clean egg off your house the next morning.
3) No fruits and vegetables. Listen: this isn’t a vegan convention or a farmer’s market, it’s Halloween. Decadence is the word of the day.
4) No homemade popcorn balls or apples. The kids’ parents probably won’t their kids eat them even if they wanted to, which they probably don’t. Can you say CHOCOLATE?
5) Do not ask the kiddies to do a trick for their treat, unless you’re amused by a jumping jack or unenthusiastic pirouette from the gals. Your purpose is not to exploit them, it’s to let them exploit you, OK?
Do’s
1) Hand out the old standards, because they’re still all the rage: Snickers bars, Milky Ways, Kit-Kats, Reese’s, Hershey’s bars or kisses, Baby Ruths, Candy Corn, Razzles.
2) If you want to mix it up, you can’t go wrong with Nerds or Pop Rocks.
3) Be friendly but not chatty. They’re on the clock and it’s all they can do to mutter a “thank you” before they’re on to their next victim.
4) Keep a porch light on, unless you want an injured ghost writhing on your property or, worse, a lawsuit.
5) Decorate your house, or your porch-area. Wear a costume yourself. It adds to the fun and kids appreciate it.